How do you deal with people who only contact you when they need a favor?

Most people are self-absorbed; it just is what it is.  Relationships wax and wane -if you don't want to help, don't help.  If you do, then do.  When our self-interests collide and overlap - ah, that can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Friendships develop from good conversations, shared interests and shared experiences. Frequently, friendships begin because one person needs something from someone else; that's pretty natural.  But there are boundaries that need to be set regarding what's expected out of those relationships. 

I like it when people ask me to help them; often it means that they respect me and my opinion enough to request it, and I appreciate that.  Sometimes, however, they can act like succubi - just before they wrap their vacuum-cupped tentacles around you and smother you in the fuzzle that is their lives, preventing you from being able to breathe let alone get angry and burnt out on their drama, you need to tell them - oh, sorry, I'm busy.  

It doesn't happen that often to me, because, frankly, I am a lonely pathetic person who needs positive reinforcement to my fragile and wussy old ego all the time, and so will do pretty much anything that someone - especially someone that I consider a friend - asks me to, if it's all possible for me to try to do and so long as it doesn't involve some kind of compromise to my integrity.  I will try to do what I can, sometimes even if they don't ask.

Except, occasionally, call them back, until, whoops, it's too late to get to that favor they'd requested.  Passive-aggressive you say?  Who, moi? Nay, just oh so busy!

Source: https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-deal-with-people-who-only-contact-you-when-they-need-a-favor?utm_content=buffer740d2&utm_medium=social&utm_source=plus.google.com&utm_campaign=buffer 

Comments: 

• My approach would be very much like your own. I am always prepared to help anyone, and certainly don't do something because of what I may get 'in return' but there does need to be some element of reciprocity.

I think there are two kinds of people, those who give and take and those who just want to take.

I think the following quote sums up, for me, what friendship means:-

"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar." Robert Brault

And as Marlene Dietrich put it:-

"It's the friends you can call up at 4a.m. that matter."

• "It sounds like these people are not so much friends as opportunistic acquaintances."

Quotes to ponder

Someone I loved once gave me a box of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift. 

-Mary Oliver 

"As I interpret the passage, baring any other reference, it seems to mean that someone has given their loved one a great deal of pain and personal trauma. Upon reflection, however, the speaker realizes that in learning to deal with the pain they have become a much more enlightened and nuanced person, overall, better off for having had the experience." -Unknown 

I read this and think of myself. I'm a patient and a caretaker to my mom. Presently, my *life* is on hold— will all my pain ever get better before I have no life to live? 

Peter Shankman's Recipe:

Easy: brown a pound of ground turkey with onions, peppers, and mushrooms. Add a jar of tomato sauce. Ten minutes in the pan. Spread a box of cream cheese on a casserole dish. Pour the turkey stuff onto it. Add cheddar cheese over it. Then add mozzarella cheese. Bake for 15 minutes or until the crust bubbles. Then take two long rolls of bread. Slice at the ends, scoop the bread out, and spoon the casserole into the holes. Brush butter, garlic, and parsley flakes on top of the bread. Add more mozzarella cheese on top. Bake eight more minutes. Slice, serve.

Good day, always.

Today is a good day—

*any day* above ground is a great day in fact.

When it seems like you have no friends— something unexpected happens, and you then realize that you *do* have (friends). 

Have a wonderful day!

ღ(ツ)ღ

Live Life

She's probably trapped living a life that isn't her choice... because of life's circumstances. Someone like this needs spiritual guidance, and/or a GREAT friend. 

I say, live with passion and when life throws you lemons...make lemonade! Happiness is Fleeting! 

Overall, it's best living life happy than miserable. 

Everyone has a black cloud over them sometimes, but one has to focus on the silver lining... it's beautiful. 

LIFE is Precious! 

"Tranquility"

Life. . .